5 minutes ago, I'd poured myself a fresh cup of coffee, and I was about to stick it in the microwave to reheat it. I opened the microwave door and discovered my first cup of coffee, the one I made for myself half an hour ago. I don't think I can tease my parents about senility and forgetfulness anymore.
This is only the latest in a lifelong series of truly special moments in my life, moments that have given hours of laughter to my closest friends. Let me share a few with you to alleviate the seriousness of my last few posts.
When I was 15, my friend Lydia and I were walking to a singing rehearsal when a truck came along doing 80kph and sprayed up head to foot in wet cow poop.
Last year, I went up to Karamoja for a weekend and came down with malaria. Since it was a rare opportunity to hang out with Zach and the Wrights, I didn't slow down very much at all. One afternoon, I hadn't been keeping up with my fever medicine, and I started playing volleyball with a 104 temp. I tried to demonstrate a jump serve and ended up flat on my back in the dust.
Speaking of volleyball, one time I was playing a pretty serious game with people I mostly didn't know very well. I stepped forward to serve...and fell on my face. My foot had been stuck in a soccer goal net behind the serve line.
I'm not even going to venture far into my tripping stories. I've tripped over flat surfaces many a time. I once tripped down my stairs so violently that I skinned my elbow on the opposite wall. If I start telling tripping stories, I'll be typing all night.
One time, I was talking to my mom, and I accidentally referred to a cosmologist as a cosmetologist.
When I was little, I used to pronounce "telepathy" kind of like "tilapia."
It's funny, I've spent quite a bit of time in various groups that started talking about most embarrassing moment stories. My life has been such that I can identify with almost all of them. I forget all the stupid things I've done until someone else starts to tell their most embarrassing moment, and I realize, "Oh hey, I've done that too..."
I don't think having an abundance of embarrassing moments is inherently something of which to be proud, but I've learned a lot through them. I now know that playing volleyball with malaria and a high fever is stupid. If a car is coming fast and there's cow poop on the road, I jump for the bushes.
The most important thing I've learned, though, is that no one can laugh at me if I'm laughing too. The most they can do is laugh with me, and I'm pretty okay with that. So embarrassing moments, come on. Do your worst. I'll just laugh.
